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Exactly one month, ago I scraped a thick layer of dust off the iron and clattered myself in the shins trying to get the damned ironing board open. Wedding? Funeral? Nope, I was preparing to return to my job here at Stylist at the end of my second maternity leave. And while everything felt very different this time around, I found it much easier to change gears during this second bite of the cherry compared to the wild old ride of my first maternity leave. I definitely felt nervous. Every part of motherhood has been a learning curve for me. The sleep. The unparalleled love. The marital arguments. And despite doing The Big Return once before, my self-doubt-filled inner voice was shouting louder than ever.

So as I ironed the creases out of my freshly washed work wardrobe, I found myself reciting things like my laptop password in my head (note to self: always write that down somewhere before going on a long period of leave) and testing myself on people’s names so I didn’t falter when I had to walk back into the office as the new-not-new girl again.

Did I need to give myself this army sergeant treatment? No. Should I have treated myself with kindness, like I would any friend or colleague in the same position? Yes. But that’s the glory of hindsight isn’t it.

It’s now four weeks since I returned to work. Week one, I felt like Superwoman, with grand hellos and wonderful catch-ups with much-loved colleagues. Week two, my 10-month-old son was sick. Literally and copiously. At soft play, in the car (repeatedly) and, most hideously, over his three-year-old sister.

This meant a 48-hour ban from nursery, so we kept him at home on Monday. That turned into Tuesday… Wednesday… Thursday. Yep, he ended up having the whole week off, with a jigsaw of emergency childcare pieced together at 10pm on Sunday night that involved me, my husband and both grandmothers (very grateful to them both) pitching in. Being up all night with the baby, handing him over to a grandparent in the morning, then logging on for work and trying to do a good job just to return to a crying baby as soon as I logged off was tough, but we survived.

Weeks three and four have been – touch something wooden immediately – much less dramatic, and while the 3am bed hopping has been repetitive, I’m grateful there has been no more illness.

I suppose what I’m trying to say here is that no amount of ironing, password reciting or name recall could have prepared me for the reality of my return. Expecting the unexpected, being honest when things are going a bit wrong and finding the ability to laugh myself out of a crisis cry are the only things I wish I’d remembered. So if you’re about to return to work or you’re on maternity leave now, try to shed any anxiety that’s building up because life will always be the hardest in the moments when you’d like it to be smooth sailing. You’ve got this. And if you think you haven’t, throw on your headphones, put the kids in the Bugaboo/grab the scooters and get outside, because everything feels better after you’ve topped up your vitamin D.

Fliss Thistlethwaite
Digital content director, Stylist
(Mum to Amby, 3, and Frank, 11 months)

P.S. The iron has returned to the cupboard of doom to resume its role as an ornament.


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Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and while we’re all for supporting partners to use their initiative to nudge the kids into the right shops, why not just forward them this email? Stylist editor mums have handpicked the best of the best, leaving you a fortnight to practise your surprised face. 
The White Company / £38
rattan serving tray
Enjoy your celebratory sourdough toast even more when served on this tray.
buy now
Smythson / £75
heart keyring
Because sometimes the very best things come in the smallest packages.
buy now
Next / £49
zebra ballerinas
A gift so stylish, it was hand-picked by Lucy Reber, our fashion director, Lucy Reber.
buy now
Maya Brenner / £292
custom gold necklace
Keep your most-loved people close to your heart with this personalised necklace.
buy now
Jo Malone / £124
beach blossom cologne
This limited edition fragrance is at the top of our most-wanted lists.
buy now
Marks And Spencer / £12.50
set of 3 checked photo frames
Stylish, sweet and just the right size to sneak onto your bedside table: the perfect gift.
buy now
Hotel Chocolat / £5.45
pistachio chocolate heart selector
These mouthwatering hearts speak a thousand words without saying a thing.
buy now
Clinique / £23.50
chubby stick lip balm
A chic edition to your make-up bag, this Chubby Stick will complete any look.
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Stripe & Stare / £65
soft brushed woven pjs
For the mum that needs a break, these PJs (sold separately) are super soft.
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Oh joy, the clocks are going forward…

“Before I had kids, I used to view the clocks going forward as a minor annoyance,” says Kayleigh Dray, freelance writer and mother to a three-year-old and a nine-month-old. “I lost an hour of sleep, sure, but I’d shake it off with a green tea on my way to work and get on with my day. As a parent, though? It’s carnage.

“For starters, there’s the headache-inducing admin of it all. Apparently I’m supposed to start bedtime 10-20 minutes earlier each night for a few weeks beforehand to get them used to the idea of it, which is a hilarious concept, considering I find it hard to wrestle my toddler into her PJs at the best of times.

“Whether I ease her into the idea of British Summer Time or not, the big night itself will inevitably see the three-year-old have a meltdown once she realises that she has to go to bed when the sun is still shining. No amount of blackout blinds, grovelling or bedtime stories will convince her otherwise.

“Before I became a parent, I assumed that losing an hour should mean the kids will wake up later, right? Wrong. Oh how we can all laugh at pre-kids me now. Of course I know now that children operate on a mysterious internal clock that defies all logic. So instead of treating me to a generous lie-in, they will be up even earlier, jetlagged and staggering about like tiny zombies with outrageous bed hair. Cue me breaking all my screentime rules and sticking CBeebies on at 5am, eyes barely open as I wonder why we, as a society, persist on doing this to ourselves.

“So, how to survive it? Probably a good bedtime routine and the darkest blackout blinds that money can buy, I guess. But also: caffeine, caffeine, caffeine. This is the day to lower your expectations, embrace the chaos and take solace in the fact that the sun is gearing up to shine longer and brighter each day. And if there’s anything that makes parenting easier, it’s a summer filled with picnics, park dates and paddling pools.”


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Tilt by Emma Pattee is the propulsive read we all need right now

“The baby is very into contact naps at the moment, which means I often end up marooned on the sofa with only my own swirling, whirling thoughts for company,” says Kayleigh Dray. “When you consider the slew of headlines we’re fed 24/7 at the moment, you can understand why I’ve been searching for a little distraction – and Tilt, the debut novel from Emma Pattee, looks to be exactly what the doctor ordered.

“It kicks off in a relatively relatable fashion: a heavily pregnant woman wanders the maze-like aisles of Ikea, hunting down the crib she needs for her unborn baby’s nursery. As Annie peruses the incredibly practical Swedish furniture on offer, a massive earthquake turns her world upside down.

“With no way to contact her husband and the city in absolute turmoil, Annie decides to trek home. Which means that as she struggles through the wreckage, she has more than enough time on her hands to think about her life: the marriage that feels as if it’s limping along, the career aspirations she’s been forced to put on ice, the impending birth of her unborn child and the lengths she’ll go to in order to keep them safe, too. So yes, things are about to get raw… and fast.

“It all makes for a deeply emotional, surprisingly funny and incredibly tense read – absolutely ideal for fans of gruelling post-apocalyptic journeys and Rachel Yoder’s Nightbitch. Bring it on!” Pre-order Tilt by Emma Pattee (out 25 March).


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Image credits: Stylist/Felicity Thistlethwaite; BBC; IG/pregnantchicken/Mary Katherine Backstrom; Courtesy of brand; Getty; Courtesy of publisher; Adobe Stock; Miranda Larbi; Adobe
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