“My postpartum hair and all of its tiny flyaways led me down an (admittedly expensive) internet black hole the other day, and it got me thinking a lot about ‘mumwashing’,” says Kayleigh Dray, freelance writer and mum to a three-year-old and an eight-month-old. “As in, when brands pretend to care about mothers so they can cash in on our struggles… all without actually doing anything meaningful to support us.

“I doubt you need me to point out the long stream of companies pushing products with ads full of glowing, well-rested women channelling those oh-so-unrelatable How does she do it? vibes. Honestly, they’ll slap a ‘For busy mums’ label on anything, from moisturisers to snack bars – even when the product isn’t tailored for mothers in any way. Take stretch mark creams, for example; many are marketed as pregnancy essentials despite having the same basic formulas as regular body lotions. Then there are the supplements, probiotics and ‘energy-boosting’ drinks aimed at new mums, despite little to no scientific evidence proving they help with postpartum fatigue or mood swings. The special teas and tisanes aimed at pregnant women, despite the teeny-weeny small print on the back that advises those aforementioned pregnant women to seek the advice of a doctor first.

“Don’t even get me started on the workplaces themselves; a 2023 report by Pregnant Then Screwed found that over 75% of mothers in the UK say they’ve faced workplace discrimination due to pregnancy or maternity leave. Meanwhile, brands flood our feeds with campaigns about how they ‘empower working mums’, all while offering poor maternity leave and zero flexibility. Even companies selling baby products – who rely entirely on mums as their customer base – often fail to provide basic parental benefits to their own employees.

“It’s not just frustrating; it’s damaging. It tricks us into believing these brands have our backs when, in reality, they’re just profiting off our exhaustion. Worse, it shifts the focus away from what really needs to change: proper workplace support, affordable childcare and real investment in maternal health.

“So, what can we do? Call it out. Question the messaging. Support businesses that genuinely invest in mums, not just market to them. Because at the end of the day, we don’t need another ‘mama-safe’ hand cream – we need policies and products that make our lives easier, not just ones that look good in an ad.”

“I love my children with every fibre of my being. That being said, there’s no getting away from the fact that they are near-constant reminders of my own mortality,” says Kayleigh Dray.

“Yes, the days (and the nights) may be long, but the past few years have whizzed by in a lightning blur. Sometimes, I find it difficult to reconcile this ‘New Me’ – the one who can recite The Gruffalo from memory, carries a potty and nappies with her everywhere and considers a trip to ‘the big playground’ a genuinely exciting prospect – with the ‘Old Me’. Quite honestly, I suspect this odd unravelling sensation isn’t going anywhere soon. It’s little wonder, then, that Miranda July’s All Fours struck such a chord with me.

“This lyrical autofiction follows a 45-year-old woman who fears the death-in-life effect of menopause – so much so that when she sets out on a road trip from LA to New York, she winds up hurtling off the freeway just 30 miles into her journey. There, in a little nothingy town called Monrovia, she bunks up in a cheap motel room, revels in an almost-obsessive affair with a gauche garage attendant and his ex-lover, and embraces an intense journey of radical self-discovery… one that quickly proves itself every bit as funny and horny as it is unsettlingly profound.

“From birth trauma to perimenopausal demons, All Fours speaks to that fragile space where our roles as mothers, wives and women intersect, and how easily our sense of self can become warped. To the versions of ourselves that we have forgotten, and the ones we’re still becoming. And, thankfully, it’s just one of many brilliant books that brave the uncharted territories of motherhood, too. Happy reading!”